A dear friend of mine gave me a beautiful reflection the other day. “You’re a little rough around the edges sometimes,” he said. In the past, maybe even last year or a few months ago I would have felt defensive and put him in the category of “people who don’t get me.” But this time I was receptive. I was open to feedback and I wanted to feel his words and where they felt true within me. I looked with loving compassion at where his reflection was true.
As I scanned our recent history together, my senses landed instantly on a scene that played out in my mind of how I abruptly interrupted him in a conversation and cut his dialogue with another friend off. I watched the scene as an observer and immediately felt the impact that my behavior had on the energy in the room. Wow, I thought, I really barged in with my agenda and I can completely see how that landed for all the folks involved. Yip, I do see where I’m rough around the edges.
A few years ago, this kind of deduction would have sent me into a shame or pity party and I would have closed off or created a wounding story about how bad I am, and left it at that. But this time, I looked at that part of me. I owed it. I took responsibility for it. And by recognizing it and integrating it, I got to feel my own humanity. I got to grow and expand. I got to embrace the part of me that makes mistakes and the part of me that beams infinite compassion. From this new perspective, I was freed to make a choice about whether I wanted to continue acting in this way, knowing that the impact it had on others.
I chose the path of humility. I chose the path of surrender. I chose the path of closeness—closeness with others and closeness with my Creator. I made an amends to my friend and in that moment something shifted within me and between my friend and I. We embraced and he expressed how much closer he felt to me. We had moved through a threshold together. We had both grown.
I do not claim to be perfect and I may still be “rough around the edges” in the future, but I do feel like I now have a conscious choice around how I show up. I now know that I am capable of doing something different in similar situations.
So where do my rough edges live today? That was the most beautiful discovery of all. I realized that I can still love my rough edges and recognize where they are best served: In my jewelry. With this new lense I saw that I have been weaving raw beauty, natural elements and rough edges together since I started crafting wire wrapped rings in 2011. That is actually my signature style. Go figure. The naturally flawed, slightly imperfect beauty of each handcrafted ring is exactly what gives each piece its unique character and special meaning. So again, I find that art is the perfect channel meet us exactly where we’re at on our soul’s journey, to harness the full range of our expression and to transmute our rough edges into one-of-a-kind heART.
How do you transmute your rough edges into one-of-a-kind heART?